Movie Reviews

Slumber Party Massacre 2 (USA/1987)

Disastrous mish-mash of a music video and teen slasher. Having an extra from Grease as the killer is bad enough but when the 50’s rock n’roll pastiche kicks in before each slaying it becomes unbearable. Awful (and not in a good way!)

Death Race (USA/2008)

90% of this film consists of cars with guns, shooting each other and crashing. It manages to get away with it, although the action scenes are a bit of a mixed bag, as it’s just so unashamedly convoluted and silly. More could’ve been made of the media aspect of the reality tv show but I don’t think this was a project which was open to such things as satire and wit.

Taken (France/USA 2008)

Standard thriller that “does exactly what it says on the tin”. Not too many surprises in what is a solid movie (even if it does stretch your suspension of disbelief at times) with some good camerawork – particularly in the fight scenes.

Choke (USA/2008)

Laid back comedy-drama that casts a psychological insight into the life of the morally bankrupt protagonist. Some fine performances from the supporting cast (as equally disturbed individuals) adds much needed gravity to the fantastical plot. Thoroughly enjoyable.

They Live (USA/1988)

Satirical sci-fi that has a strong anti-consumerism message. The subliminal-message visuals, the impoverished 80’s setting and the doses of black comedy all aid the satire in what is a very entertaining film.

Resistance 2 (PS3)

The original Resistance had an even share of fans and critics but most would have agreed that it laid a solid foundation for the franchise to expand and, with some polishing, a top class sequel to be built upon. Fall of Man’s major triumphs came from it’s intriguing scenario supported by it’s atmosphere, detailed environments and compelling plot. So one would imagine that these, at the very least, would be the backbone of the sequel….

The game begins badly, in a generic “facility” with the same old pipe and crate filled corridors seen in countless FPS games (largely ones from the previous console generation it has to be said). Unfortunately it takes a long time before you encounter anything close to the quality of the first game’s environments as you are dragged through a dull canyon, another facility and an uninspiring alien vessel, before finally getting to experience a bit of post-war Americana.

All of the early levels (well most of the game actually) begin and end the same – dropped off and collected by helicopter – as you are given your next target and move on with scant regard for plot progression. Being pushed from pillar to post in such a manner is a real momentum killer. In R:FOM, the gradual build-up of information on the Chimeran invasion coupled with the sombre narration between missions was a real boon in terms of atmosphere and this lacks such a device to drive the story. (One could probably argue that there isn’t much of a story to drive in the first place!)

Environments and plot aside, there is something rotten at the core of the game. The balance to the gunplay, the cornerstone of any FPS, is badly askew. The waves of bog-standard Chimeran fighters are easier to brush aside than they should be but the real deal-breaker are the bigger, less-frequent foes who rely on weaponry and endurance from an unfathomable rule-set. This leads to many choke-points and, worse still, a sense of unfairness.

The clever and varied weapon-set is intact from the first game. The new additions aren’t as inventive and are rarely incorporated. The choice to make most of the enemy not relinquish their guns upon death seems at first to be a bug but later you discover that the developers like to prescribe guns to each situation, denying the player the chance to utilise their favourite weapon-set in any situation which again seems like a bad move.

The online modes offer variety, with the co-op missions providing some genuine entertainment, but there’s nothing spectacular on offer and certainly nothing to rival the best in the genre.

So with the epic feel and intriguing narrative all but gone there really is nothing left to recommend this over, or even to supplement, the best PS3 shooters out there. And with Killzone 2 looming on the horizon this maybe pushed even further down the pecking order.

Movie Round-up

Gremlins (1988/USA) The splicing of proper horror and black comedy into what is, for all intents and purposes, a children’s film can sometimes feel out of place but it comes off with great success. Some of the later scenes are more akin to a macabre take on the Muppets but it still stands up today. A true 80’s classic.






The Incredible Hulk (2008/USA) This begins with the promise of a more considered, humanistic look at the superhero genre (and the casting of Norton as the protagonist certainly aided that). Unfortunately, as it progresses it only becomes more bound by convention with the final scenes resembling a WWE travesty.






Iron Man (2008/USA) With strong, bold characters and a plot revolving around reformation this should have the perfect recipe for a solid superhero jaunt but alas it falls short of the mark. The lack of a real nemesis (cardboard cut-out Middle-Eastern terrorists anyone?!) and the dull action scenes let it down making it just another average Marvel vehicle.






Ultraviolet (2006/USA) Although visually interesting, theres little to recommend about this style-over-substance sci-fi. The fight scenes are a particular disappointment with overly-choreographed prancing the order of the day.








X-Men: The Last Stand (2006/USA) With an established franchise behind it, this 3rd X-Men film had the license to attempt a different approach. The moral dilemma (of a “cure” for the mutants) that pervades the film is certainly interesting but rarely explored in much depth but it does help to keep proceedings ticking over nicely….until we get to the travesty of a final battle(why cant they get these things right?). Overall another “almost”.

Movie Round Up

The Bourne Identity (2002/USA)

A superior action-thriller that manages to stay grounded at all times despite the conspiracy-theory nature of the plot. The stunts, particularly the car-chases and the fisticuffs, are executed with aplomb and add to the gritty nature of the film. A must watch.

The Bourne Supremacy (2005/USA)

A rarity – a sequel that manages to equal the heights of the original. Marginally less gritty as some Bond-esque gadgets and shenanigans are introduced but they certainly don’t detract anything. The sentimental elements, also, only serve to bolster what is already a strong plot.

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007/USA)

A faster-paced affair than the two prequels. A couple of the characters aren’t quite as strong as in the previous films and the flashbacks/memory-recovery scenes can be a bit much but that is really just nit-picking. Continues the lineage with great success containing all of the elements that make the previous films great.

Transporter 3 (2008/France)

Another slickly put-together action film that does justice to the Transporter canon. Forgoing the OTT nature of the second film in a return to the basics it could easily underwhelm. However, the action scenes are as high-octane as ever (bar the disappointing finale) and Statham fans (myself included) will lap it up.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994/USA)

Self-referential and contrived sequel to the horror classic that revives some of the unnerving nature of the original. It struggles to remain coherent at times and ends poorly but it entertains for the most part.

Vacancy 2 (2009/USA)

The original Vacancy was filled with tension and frights but this prequel idea really doesn’t work as the focus is shifted to the perpetrators rather than the victims. This removes any horror as the audience witnesses the bumbling incompetence of those that are meant to be terrifying!

Movie Views

REC (2007 / Spain) Another horror that uses the handycam/point-of-view style to great effect and manages to be gripping and claustrophobic due to it. Although not entirely original it still contains a few fresh ideas for a genre that has begun to stagnate







Logan’s Run (1976 / USA) Classic Sci-fi adventure that still stands up today. As thought provoking as it is obscure, its filled with abstract moments and existential dilemmas, presented with a beautifully pseudo-futuristic/psychedelic sheen. Epic stuff.







Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007 / USA) The structure of this film can be summarised thus: Act1 – Nothing happens, Act 2 – Something is going to happen (but not quite yet), Act 3 – Something happens. Even when the action gets going it is hardly noteworthy and certainly does little to redress the balance of the opening hour of dross.





Sweet House of Horrors (1989 / Italy) To say this is Lucio Fulci’s worst film is really saying something! It begins with the usual key elements of gore, unusual camerawork, poor dubbing and some 70’s synth soundtack. The majority from there on in is more akin to a dull children’s fairytale. Unequivocally awful.







The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007 / UK/USA) The confusion and pace for the first half of this sci-fi/horror serves to generate a decent amount of intrigue (akin to a typical J-Horror). Unfortunately the confusion turns to bewilderment and things get a bit “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. Still, a novel premise and it has its moments.

Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn (Wii)

This may be the eleventh title in the series but not an awful lot has changed since it’s beginnings on the NES in 1990. There are some minor tweaks over the Gamecube prequel, to which this continues the story, but really this isn’t going to attract any of the new audience the Wii has so successfully courted.

The most immediate and glaring lack of innovation is the decision not to use the Wii’s motion sensing capabilities. One might’ve thought that for a grid-based strategy title the use of a mouse-like cursor might be ideal but instead you are forced to use the Wiimote as an NES pad! In hindsight this mightn’t have been a bad choice as the switching between the small tiles could become quite fiddly and the fatigue factor during a 2 hour long level might be crippling.

The graphics have received a welcome update (if not as much as some might’ve expected) with some nice spot effects for the magical attacks being the highlight. The anime cut-scenes are superb its just a shame there’s so few of them.

The freshest part of Radiant Dawn comes in the alternating use of multiple armies - levelling up, recruiting and arming 3 entirely separate groups of characters. This greatly helps to maintain your interest over what is a very long game(60 hours+) as you are effectively playing 3 instances of the game. Strangely, however, you are given charge of the weakest army first and are asked to negotiate 10 gruelling levels at the beginning. This then serves to render the subsequent chapters as quite an anticlimax seeing you breeze past the enemy with a new, and much more powerful, army at your disposal. Overall the approach does work and throws up some interesting twists towards the end of the game.

Continuing on the plot of the 2005 Gamecube game is handled with the story-telling skill one would expect from Intelligent Systems with the bold issues of prejudice, racism and the horrors of war smoothly transferred into a new context with original topics of hero worship and religion also being broached admirably. This is aided by the superior dialogue and scripting that doesn’t have you skipping though the endless juvenile nonsense contained in most text heavy games. Regrettably the narrative is let down at times by some unsophisticated changes in direction that helps break the predictable flow of events but could surely be accomplished by some subtler means.

As strategy games go this is up there with the best of them, it requires solid planning and tactics whilst bound by a logical and consistent rule-set. Its difficulty, although being steep, never leaves the player feeling cheated and always leaves the opportunity for a new approach. If the genre isn’t your “cup-of-tea” then this will do little to persuade you otherwise – especially with its sink or swim initiation, functional graphics and general lack of Wii-ness.

Movie Round Up

Evil Dead 2 (1987/USA)
Disappointing re-hash of the classic original leaning more towards comedy rather than horror. Still contains some hilarious moments and entertainingly gorey scenes

Doomsday (2008/UK)
Silly but largely fun sci-fi adventure that borrows heavily from the likes of Mad Max, Escape from New York, Aliens – to name but a few. Quite slick considering the low-budget but far too derivative to stand out.

Burn After Reading (2008/USA)
As entertaining as you would expect from the Coens in their take on mid-life crises and infidelity. A reliance on the base humour elements, however, overshadows the wittier moments which are few and far between. Some great characters and good performances make it worth a watch.

Dead Man’s Shoes (2004/UK)
Tense, dark and brutal at times, this solid drama delivers on a lot of fronts. The superbly crafted balance between the genuinely disturbing and the darkly comic makes for a poignant piece of filmmaking.

Toolbox Murders (2003/USA)
Dull remake that fails to make use of a decent premise. A chore to watch - Hang your head Tobe Hooper